Listen to your mother. It’s good advice for practically everyone. But if you own or manage a store, restaurant, amusement park, or any other location where families spend money, this friendly admonishment takes on a whole new meaning. Mothers control America’s purse strings. And that, according to Nora Lee, author of The Mom Factor: What Really Drives Where We Shop, Eat, and Play, is reason enough to get them firmly in your corner.

“It is estimated that women engage in 80–88 percent of all consumer spending in the U.S.,” says Lee. “Three-fourths of America’s 108 million adult women are mothers . . . it doesn’t take a mathematician to see that Moms make well over half the consumer buying decisions in this country. That’s staggering financial power . . . so why don’t businesses bend over backwards to attract us?” Lee thoroughly explores this question in her book. Here are excerpts from her “Mom Factor Checklist,” 11 elements that make a store, restaurant, or other family venue appealing to mothers.

1 HEALTH & SAFETY: Planting the Seeds of a Customer Dynasty.
Moms can see danger around every corner. Spills in the aisle, cholesterolladen food, inedible plants, and nasty restrooms all represent a slippery slope. If a business provides quick cleanups, appetizing healthy alternatives, barriers to overinquisitive little fingers, evidence of regular safety inspections and maintenance, and sparkling restrooms, it might have a customer for life—or the beginnings of a customer dynasty with Mom at the center.

2 CUSTOMER SERVICE: The Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow.
Mom says, “Pay attention to me,” often in a soft, self-deprecating voice. Snooty waiters who prefer adults lose both tips and repeat business, but the waiter who brings the toddler crackers and the first-grader a set of crayons--without being asked--is golden.

3 VALUE: Cheap Does Not Always Equal a Good Deal.
Mom’s idea of value translates to a balance of reasonable prices, quality, and selection. Just as Mom will pay more for good customer service, she’ll pay more for good quality, but it’s a balancing act.

4 EFFICIENCY:When Money Buys Time.
Efficiency is why grocery stores have banks and Jamba Juice, banks have a Starbucks, and ATMs sell stamps. It’s often a little thing. There are grocery chains that listened when Moms asked them to remove gum and candy from checkout areas, and shopping became more pleasant—and more efficient. efficient.

5 SOCIAL AND COMMUNITY CONSCIENCE:Why Pink Ribbons Work.
Discounters that hire the differently abled or give a portion of profits to schools are more likely to see Mom repeatedly than those that do not. Products displaying pink ribbons attract attention and dollars because Mom’s mother or sister had breast cancer. She’ll drive the extra miles to take kids to the entertainment center holding a fundraiser for the Humane Society because then her role as cheerleader and a purse with legs has some meaning.

6 STORY: Stuff Dreams Are Made of.
At a zoo, establishing a connection with an orangutan named Clyde, who’s 22 years old, loves blueberries, and has a jealous mate named Audrey, helps both Mom and child immerse themselves in Clyde’s story—and in the story of a Southeast Asian forest habitat in danger. Storytelling helps not only in theme parks, zoos, museums, and attractions, but to a lesser extent in malls, stores, restaurants, and sporting events.

7 COMFORT: Now, It's Personal.
My feet are killing me, and I’ve spent $213 for bags of stuff that are dragging me down. Where do I sit for a minute? How about my kids, who of course have all the energy I lack? Mom wants to be comfortable. She wants clean restrooms and plenty of them, good ventilation and smoking control, effective queue management, and tables that don't smash Dad's knees when he sits down. Invest in her comfort and she will invest in you.

8 LEARNING AND TEACHING OPPORTUNITIES:The School of Mom.
Mom looks for education everywhere. Even restaurants can offer lesson opportunities, if Grandpa draws on the paper tablecloth while the little ones watch, or the décor consists of World War II flyers’ memorabilia.

9 FUN: The Pursuit of Amusement Equality.
Whatever the destination, Mom aims for the most fun for the most people. The destination that helps her in her quest will win her dollars and her loyalty. The one that considers her own pleasure and then delivers will win her devotion.

10 CONTINUITY & CHANGE: Baby, Don't Ever Change . . . Much.
The paradoxical appeal of both change and continuity has a fuzzy place in the Mom Factor. Mom likes variety and a degree of cool, to keep the kids interested. So the new ride at Disneyland is a good thing. So are an array of choices on the café menu . . . but you're in peril if you mess with the Tiki Room and its animatronic birds. A balance between change and continuity is necessary to keep Mom and her family happy.

11 CONNECTION TO THE HEART: A Moving Experience Doesn't Mean Installing an Escalator.
Care, conscience, community, wonder, engagement, love, comfort, fun, enjoyment, loyalty, pleasure, delight, and passion. These words denote a personal, emotional connection between Mom and her world. In an increasingly impersonal, technology-addicted society, Mom is the touchstone for matters of heart. Even in commercial transactions, Mom takes things personally. If a business demonstrates disregard for the safety of her kids, or inattention to its own responsibility to her community, or disrespect for her or her family, she won't just turn away--she'll get angry.

And remember that mom’s doing the purchasing not just for herself but for an average of three additional people. Make her happy and she’ll see to it that those additional people continue to be loyal customers for years to come. “You know the old adage, ‘If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’?” queries Lee. “Stitch it on a sampler and hang it over your desk. Mom should drive every business decision you make if you want to entertain her and her family.”

The Mom Factor: What Really Drives Where We Shop, Eat, and Play (Urban Land Institute, 2005, $19.95) is available at bookstores nationwide, major online booksellers, bookstore.uli.org, or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 321-5011. For more information, please visit www.noraleeetal.com.